His Bride

Hey, here is a song I have been working on lately. It is a mirror of Ezekiel 16 and the story of Hosea

HIS BRIDE

PRE-VERSE

She’s dressed in white

He’s standing there, waiting for his bride

The music starts to play, softly

The guests all rise

Here comes the bride

VERSE 1

It was the perfect wedding and

It seemed it couldn’t be better and

Yet she strayed

She stole his promises

Took his heart and

Walked away

PRE-CHORUS

And she took the dress he made her

And sold it for a favor to a stranger

Who took his bride

CHORUS

There was crying in the church that day

As he watched his precious bride walk away

And as he looked at her one last time

He searched for his reflection in her eyes

VERSE 2

Walking the streets

She lit her red candles every evening

A tempting harlot

Brazenly charming all who passed by

A voice like wine

Caressing the lusts of the city each night

She cries out

Her scarlet ambitions

From temples adorned with the beauty

He gave her

PRE-CHORUS

And with tears he watched

His harlot play

An alluring flower,

Obsessed with her fame

Weary and jealous

He let her go

CHORUS 2

And there was crying in his house that day

As he let his precious bride slip away

And as he looked at her one last time

Gone was his reflection in her eyes

Bridge

Yet despite the pain she gave him

He couldn’t let her go

Though disgrace had embraced her

He appeased the debt she owed to the strangers

Through a gift in a manger

As he claimed her once again

And with blood and tears

He set her free

Absolving the debt of her harlotry

He adorned himself in her scarlet red

shame

It cost him everything to make her clean again

PRE-VERSE

She’s dressed in white

He’s standing there, waiting for his bride

The music starts to play, softly

The guests all rise

Here comes his bride

And as he looked at her one last time

he saw his reflection in her eyes

Perspectives

Its been a while since my last post.... my apologies. I have just been learning so much every day, writing everything down seems completely intimidating!

Ah man, so much has changed in my heart this past summer. The transition from a Bible school to daily ministry in Japan was SOOOO HARD! Way harder than I thought it would be... blah! But, I learned a ton, and God brought many things to my attention.

There are a few huge things I have walked away from this summer with, and millions of little things. I would love to share everything that God has done in my heart.... but that would take forever, and really... there are some parts of the process that even I don't understand enough to explain...but I will try to give some of the highlights so you all can maybe catch a glimpse of where I am at, at the moment.

1. God is real. The reality and implications of this statement... I am only beginning to touch. There were moments this past summer, when everything seemed so hard, and life was so crazy, that this simple truth became a terrorizing question mark in my life. It was a terrible yet rewarding truth to wrestle... and now that it is set firm in my heart... ah man... who knows. All I know is that its pretty much the craziest greatest news of my life

2. God is good. God really can't be anything but good honestly. This is beautiful to me. I forget this a lot. There are just too many lovely things He has put on earth to display his beauty and His goodness for us to ever think something else of Him. Think of the love you feel towards a dear family member, the hope you feel at the anticipation of something fun, the presence of laughter in your soul, even though it is merely a sound that escapes your mouth. Think of how pretty colors are... how diverse humanity is, and how intricately the cells in your body function, how your heart is beating right now, and how a big soggy mess in your head, your brain, allows you to experience emotions, unmeasurable aspects of life that can break a person down, or inspire them beyond all else. All of these things show the beauty of God, and His unspeakable goodness.

3. Genuine.
How often do I say, "God is teaching me this" or pray aloud in a way that simply is religious at best? How often to I casually or passionately live a life bound by what looks right, or what sounds right... like being 'politically correct' only... a 'christian' version. That's not what life is about. Life is about a real God who is passionate for reaching out to His creation in a genuine way. What this looks like....

4. God knows me.
What does it look like? How am I supposed to portray the genuine love of a real God? We throw His name around so casually... and yet... man... He is what life is all about. Inside of His existence, and His goodness... I find that He has made me quite different from everyone else. I have weird struggles, different passions, big weaknesses and unique strengths. God did not make me anything like you really... and hallelujah! He made me who I am, to the last cell in my body, and you who you are, for a reason. He gave me my weaknesses specifically, and same with my strengths. They all will play perfectly together to allow me to pursue the life God created me to live and display His glory in the most radiant of ways. I like it. I don't know who God has created me to be quite exactly yet... but, I am okay with that.... which brings me to my last big point (for now...)

5. I don't know.
This simple statement has been the bane of my existence the last few months of my life. Never has such a small understanding of so many great things taken a hold of my mind and my heart. I first found it terrifying when I realized I could not understand God fully (sometimes... at Bible college, I think I can if I just study enough, but then He does things that remind me... I will never figure Him totally out.) I freaked out when I found that I did not understand life, really... and that sometimes, when people have different opinions on theology or whatever, I don't know who is right, and what I even think! I don't know who I really am yet, I don't know what I am supposed to pursue specifically... I DONT KNOW.

And yet... slowly, I am becoming okay with that. In fact, when I am not careful, I even catch myself being delighted by it. How? Simple, I don't know, but God does. If I knew everything I would walk through, every path I had to take... oh my gosh would it be overwhelming. Taking life one second at a time is hard enough!! Since God is there, and He is good... and since He knows me, and genuinely loves me... I figure that... well...

its pretty much sweet.

and I am excited.

=)


the end... hehehe

Enjoying the Blessings

After getting back from Japan, I spent a few days here in Simi Valley, and then I traveled to Merced, where my family is now living, then on to Oregon for a wedding, back to Merced, and with a small de-tour through Los Banos to see some old friends, I am finally back in Simi Valley for a while.... FHEW!

It has been a very eventful last few months for me, and I am savoring some down time.... to say the least. Usually I have a very hard time just relaxing, and while I was home in Merced, I found myself stressed out and unable to take advantage of the opportunity to relax with my family. It was really hard, but brought out some really good conversations with my parents, and I was able to share with them many things that had been building up in my heart.

After coming back to Simi, and being able to just spend some alone time in my apartment, I have been feeling the stress slowly melt away. Every day has held something new, and today I have just found a beautiful relaxed peace in my heart.

I feel like this is a time of restoration for me, and in my heart I hear a faint whisper that something great is to come. Maybe soon, I will get to share the gospel with my neighbors, or perhaps, God will reveal something beautiful about himself to me. Until that time though, I am learning to patiently wait for Him and have busied myself in learning more about my Savior Jesus, and the great love he offers all those who come to him.

At Long Last

My goodness, time has absolutely flown by since my last update! I am sure you are all wondering what in the world is going on, where I am, and what has happened since my last update!

I will try to fill you all in....

My team got back into Japan last Monday after a wonderful trip to Hakone (just outside of Tokyo) for our team retreat. Hakone is known for it's Japanese style baths, as well as Yunessun, the 'Disneyland of Spas' http://www.yunessun.com/english/yunessun.html You can enjoy a coffee scented/flavored hot bath as well as one with green tea, wine or even Sake. It was a unique experience our whole team truly enjoyed!

Before we left for Hakone though, God worked in our last few days on campus in some beautiful ways. Although the spiritual climate of Japan is extremely hard, we were able to build into friendships that will hopefully, if not already, be used to express the gospel through the love of God. I had one particularly awesome experience with a girl named Chika who was very interested in learning more about Christianity, though just for academic purposes. I was able to share the gospel with her however, and she came to our last outreach (the American Party). It was there that we had a wonderful talk, and I discovered the potential for a beautiful friendship with her =)

Also, while we were in Hakone, getting dinner one night, God opened up an opportunity for me to have a spiritual conversation with a Japanese mom who was there with her Husband and son on vacation. She has already emailed me with an expressed interest in learning more english... and more about the Bible! So awesome!

As for being back in America, the transition was easier than I thought at first, and then, over the last few days, has been pretty hard. I have been wrestling through many things these last few months, and have found that many of the basic principles of having a realtionship with God to be challenging...

Through the process of sharing my faith, and the gospel, almost daily, I came to realize that there are some parts of having a relationship with God that I am not as confident in as I would like to be. I have found myself questioning some very basic truths, which, although can be very scary, have opened my eyes to a desperate need for faith which I am asking God for. My natural tendancy in this is to become anxious and really discouraged, but my prayer is that God is working something great, and that He would lead me to a new found confidence in Him. I ask that you would please pray the same.

I will be trying to keep you all updated as I continue to email contacts I have in Japan, and I would love some updates on how all of you are doing, as well as any way my trip to Japan or praying for me/my team/our ministry has impacted or encouraged you.

I sign off with love
em

News!

Hey everyone, sorry its been sooo long since my last blog post! We have been super busy here in Japan, and sometimes with all activity going on, its hard for me to process through things enough to blog. I will do my best though to update you on the last week or so...

The week before this last one was challenge week. We had to get up an hour earlier and stay on campus an hour longer. To be honest, it was exhausting and a really hard week for me. I was able to have some great conversations... but overall I felt tired and worn out mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

I will try to write more on that week, but its hard to remember too many details at the moment... sorry! The week did end well though with our Discover Friends Party.

The party was planned so that we would have a fun atmosphere to invite students to as we ate together, played some games and presented the gospel. I was the Emcee... which went great (for the most part... there was a slight hang up when I announced we were all going to dance, when really a dance team had prepared something for everyone to watch... oh communication through a language barrier... fun stuff...)

This week seemed to hold the promise of a bit more sleep, and shorter, easier days on campus. While the week started out pretty well, by the end I was completely done emotionally, physically and spiritually. I has been a great week through, and many fun events took place.

On Wednesday night, our whole team went out to dinner, and then did Karaoke... which was a blast! Thursday night I got to go out with one of my teammates, and a girl she has been reaching out to. We went to Shijuku for food and shopping... =)

Friday night was... awesome as well. The guys on our team planned a creative date, which included a mysterious invitation with flowers and chocolate, an evening of delicious food (which they made), poems, skits and more... all provided in love from our dear brothers. It was so sweet!!!

That brings us to yesterday... and insane... not-so-restful-rest-day. Haha... okay, so Saturday is supposed be our rest day, but usually we end up going somewhere fun, and spend the whole day doing things. Yesterday was no exception, as our whole team went to Tokyo Disney Sea. It was a very loooooong day (we met to leave at 7am... and did not arrive home until after midnight). Needless to say, I took a few naps during the day... usually while we were waiting in line for a ride. One line, that lasted about an hour and a half, provided me with the oppoturnity to learn how to sleep standing up, and walk every5 or so minutes. I am pretty sure I don't remember much of that line... haha.

Anyways, today is Sunday, and in about 30 min we will be leaving for church. I am excited to go, and am praying that it will be a good re-charge time for me. My heart feels completely spent, and I feel like I have been wrestling through a lot of things that...well... I am tired of wrestling through. Even yesterday, I found myself unable to just relax and enjoy the day becuase I have been trying to find out different things about my relationship with God. I know that my relationship with Him maybe shouln't be stressful, but, it has been and is... and I am tired and looking forward to just spending some time resting at church during worship and the sermon.

As we enter our last week here in Japan, I ask that you please lift up my team. We are going to have to push hard to hand off relationships to staff, and share the gospel as much as we can these last few days we have on campus. Pray for the leaders, that we would not feel burnt out, and that we would feel full of excitement and joy.

Thank you so much, and I will try to post some more pictures and stories soon!
em

Update

It is such a beautiful day here in Koeni! I went out this morning to grab some breakfast and was greeted by blue, clear, sunny skies and the promise of a warm and lovely day. It has been raining almost every day here, which has been fun and beautiful, in its own way... but its a delightful change... and I am looking forward to being outside a bit today =)

Last night, after blogging, I had a wonderful time of prayer and reflection. It is amazing to me, because when I started to pray, I found amazing peace in my heart, and a curious absence of everything that has been making me anxious these last few weeks. It was beautiful. I am realizing the preciousness of God's love. Though I felt like the last few weeks were difficult, God's love proved stronger, more beautiful and faithful than even my greatest moments of hardship. I cannot believe how much He loves me. I remember praying a few nights ago, in the shower (great place for prayer... haha) asking God to please open my eyes to His love...

Sometimes when I think of God, the picture that comes into my heart is of a God who is big, strong, all powerful... and somewhat frightening. While those qualities can prove comforting, it is only through the realization that this God, more powerful than all else, loves me with a love as great as His power. I forget that.... a lot, but God is faithful to remind me, that I am loved... and precious. And, that quiets my heart, fills me with thankfulness, and makes me smile.

I am so thrilled to be sharing this love with students in Japan... most of whom do not even know this kind of love exists, aside from their dissapointment in relationships and life...and yet even in that, while they may desire or hope for something more... they do not know where to turn. But, God being so great and loving, has tenderly brought a group of students to them, just to let them know.

How great is our God.

Here are some pictures from the day my campus team went to ICU High School. This day turned out to be such a great blessing and I was encouraged beyond words at the responses of some of the students. I posted a more detailed blog a few days ago with more detailed stories.. but here are some pictures for those of you who have already read them.

Here are some of my teammates leading discussion groups during an english lunch we promoted. This is an opportunity for students to practice their english, and a chance for us to share the gospel. It works out quite beautifully =)
Here is one of my teammates, Amy, sharing her testimony to a group of Sophmore students. It was a powerful time, and in the course of two days, over 110 students heard about God's love.

Here I am leading a discussion group after two of my teammates shared their testimony in front of a class full of students. I was able to share some of my testimony, and have some beautiful talks with many students who opened up and shared a bit of their hearts. At one point, I had to hold back tears, as one student (unknowingly) admitted that he desired unconditional love, greater than anything he had ever been able to 'earn.' He really wanted to just be loved for who he was. To tell him about the love of God at that moment was... beyond words. Pray for Jembae.

And finally, this is fun, I got to see my friend Andy yesterday. He is on staff with Crusade as a STINTer in Nagoya (one of the 3 largest cities in Japan) and among the first team of Australian STINTers to Japan ever. I met Andy when I was in Australia a few years ago, and he stopped by when he was in the states. We have now spend time together on three different continents... so awesome! Pray for his team...they are reaching the lost in another part of Japan so desperate to hear of God's love.

Finally, my love to everyone who is reading this. God is doing some powerful things in my heart, and...I am experiencing Him in ways that are direct answers to prayer. The gratitude in my heart, and love for the lost... God has grown in my heart beyond my ability to express. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life... I can think of nothing else, nothing that even comes close to the passion I have for telling others about God's love.

Thank you all for your prayers!

So Long and Thanks for all the Fish

Today most of my team woke up at 4am (yes, you saw that right...) to go to Tsukiji Fish Market... one of the world's largest fish markets. Here is a little blurb I pulled off the internet....

Tokyo Central Wholesale Market handled 787,782 tons (2,888 tons a day) of marine products, 748 billion yen (2.8 billion yen a day) total in 1993. Some 450 kinds of fish are received; this figure is unparalleled in the world. Marine products sections are set up in three markets: Tsukiji, Ohta and Adachi. Above all Tsukiji Market, handling 87% of the total amount, is one of the biggest markets in the world.

Needles to say, it was an incredibly early morning... and I did not get more than 3hrs of sleep the night before... so a nap midway through the day proved to be a delightful treat. Here are some pictures...

The day started soo early... and I was sooo tired... haha

Mmmm... yummy

So big! I could not get over the different sizes and varieties of fish at this market... this one had to be at least 5ft long... and some were so small, you could grab handfuls for mere pennies. There were brown, red, blue.... crazy...colors of fish in every shape imaginable...

If you would like to see more pictures, I have some albums up on facebook that I would be delighted for you to look through...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=115345&id=712908464&l=c866b6cdd8
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114144&id=712908464&l=d6dc49c722
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=112448&id=712908464&l=622768e9f6
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=112285&id=712908464&l=f250cf4d28

I will be blogging more tomorrow hopefully... thank you all for praying and for the encouraging comments!!!

Good Day

To everyone who prayed... it worked!! Today was such an encouraging day to me, even though it was incredibly early and long...

We woke up at about 6:15 and were at the train by 7:15, got to Musashisakai by 7:45 and ICU High School by 8:30am. Whew! We then went in, shared testimonies with two different classrooms, had discussions, passed out flyers, ate lunch and hosted an english discussion group, planned for the next week, debriefed, took stats, small nap, food, games and now... BED!

Okay so, in my last post I mentioned that my campus team got banned from one of our main schools. I knew that God was doing something big, and was excited, but slightly overwhelmed as everything got thrown up into the air... Well... God did have something awesome planned.

Today, instead of going to ICU Univeristy, we were able to go to ICU High School, and share our testimonies and have AWESOME discussion times. We reached out to over 112 students today, each of them hearing multiple testimonies, and partaking in discussion groups we were able to lead. At one point, after sharing a part of my testimony that involved me explaining how I used to always feel the need to do things for people in order to make them like/love me... and how I had carried that over to God (to discover He loves me the way I am because of Christ) one of the sophomore guys in one of my groups opened up and said he felt the same way alot (this took a lot of bravery, he was the only guy in the group, had to have his feelings translated by one of his classmates, a cute girl, and hello... Japanese don't share their feelings... really... and did you in Highschool?!) I had to hold back tears. Some of the other girls in the same group asked really probing questions and worked really hard to make sure I was undestanding them so they could get the right answers... it was AMAZING!!

Honestly, I could do this the rest of my life... its going to be really hard to go home.

Also... on Monday (not sure if I blogged this or not...) I had an AWESOME discussion with a student on Gaidai University, and she and I are going out to lunch on Monday. She is really excited, and also really opened up to me. I told her part of my testimony about how I delt with not having a boyfriend, how God filled that place in my heart, and how I got to that point (through high school and daily prayer...) it was sweeeeet. She opened up to me about that portion of her life and like... wow. Its amazing to me how many different aspects to my testimony there are.... like, I never knew... but God is showing me that He had a plan for everything in my life that I have ever walked through/struggled through.

Its a good reminder, even as I wrestle through things now, to know that one day God will/could use them to bring people to himself. Its a worthy cause to suffer for.

Okay, pray I go home.. haha, just kidding. Seriously though... come to Japan... it will be so hard, so rewarding, so tiring and SO WORTH IT.

Love you all


ps. one of my contacts at ICU that I am no longer able to visit emailed me and said she still REALLY wanted to get together...

its going to suck leaving all these friendships behind... gah.

Prayer Needed

Hey everyone,

Okay so... we found out today that my team has been forbidden to set foot on one of the campuses we are doing ministry on. The authorities on that campus have been watching us, and know who the students we are talking to and who are involved with Student Impact are... and have threatened to not allow them to graduate should our activity on campus continue. The campus team I am co-leading has taken this hard.. but good. We are seeing the effects of the gospel in a way none of us really expected, and while it is exciting to be in the midst of the movement, the fact that we will no longer be able to spend time with those who we were building relationships with is.... hard. We are going to be trying to email students whose contact information we have.... but we are not able to go to them, and will have to ask them to meet us off campus.

The student leaders, one in particular, is taking this very hard, and I would ask that right now you lift him up in your prayers, as well as the few other Christians on campus to whom this news might discourage. Our team has been re-directed temporarily to a high school and will be involved with an event that was already scheduled to take place.... God is good.

This, as well as the rest of the trip and all it holds has proven stressful at times, and there are a few other things that need to be lifted up in prayer as well. It seems as if the devil is attacking the girl leaders right now.... expressed through physical hindrances.

The co-leader of the other campus team had to have a minor operation to drain an abscessed cyst at the end of her tailbone, which not only made the 11+ hour flight incredible uncomfortable, but has proven to affect her health, and kept her in bed almost the entire trip with a cold, fever, and other signs of infection. Thankfully she was able to go to a doctor today, and I will be going with her for a follow up visit tomorrow.

The co-leader of our trip, and the girls leader, Heather, experienced excruciating pain in her back tonight that left her stumbling in the door, crying and unable to move. She is doing better now, but... just pray for her....

And... as much as I don't want to include myself in this list, I just honestly need prayer for my back and shoulders as well. I have been experiencing horrible pain in my shoulders and neck in the form of muscle spasms and cramps. Its very sharp, and constant, and I can feel it pulling all the way down my back, into my arms and at times into my face. I have been getting some lovely back massages from my roommates, but it is extremely uncomfortable, and carrying a back-pack or purse around on campus has proved.... really painful. Ugh, I don't want to complain, but I really need prayer.

Obviously the devil is scared, and God is allowing our faith to grow... He is merciful and faithful beyond our knowledge, and the peace and wisdom he has is beyond understanding... something incredibly comforting in all of this. If you could please just pray for the three guy leaders, that they would not experience anymore opposition... one of them broke out entirely in an itchy rash all over his whole body... and the other two... I just pray they would find strength.

In all of this however, we are experiencing much joy! One of my teammates led someone to Christ today!! The gospel was shared thoroughly to at least two interested students, and friendships were formed that could potentially carry the gospel to open hearts. It was such an encouraging day for me today... and although I am so exhausted emotionally from everything that is going on... God in His mercy has allowed me to take the day off tomorrow, and instead of going on campus, I will be spending time with Jess as she and I make our way to the doctors again. We will be traveling on multiple trains, and the trip takes well over an hour, so be in prayer for that as well.

Love you all... pray for us, but rest in the Faithful, Merciful hands of God, because He cares for you =)

ps. I got to experience being completely packed into a train tonight, and it was really fun and exciting. We got on, and just when I thought the train was full, they started pushing people in.... more.. and more... and more. I could not move AT ALL, and I have never been that crowded in my life.... but it was kind of fun.... haha, and such an awesome experience!

A Few Days in the Life of...ME

Here are some pictures of what I get to experience every day, along with some stories and explanations. Thank you all for your continuing support, both through prayer, and those of you who so graciously have supported me and my team financially. You do not know how much it encourages me to know that some of you are praying for me daily... thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Here is a view outside the front of my apartment during the day

This is a picture from Gaidai University, one of three Universities my team is spreading the good news to

The girl with the red bag. So, earlier that day, my co-team leader said that during his devotions, he just got in his head an image of a girl with a red bag, and with much hesitation he shared this with me, advising me to take it for what it was. Well, I honestly am very apprehensive about those sort of things, and settled in my mind to think nothing of it. Well, later that day, the only spiritual conversation I had was with this lovely student, who happened to have a red bag. God has a since of humor, and a way of showing his handiwork. Take it for what it is, merely evidence of God's hands at work while we are here =)

This is a fun one, here is a picture of me at Gaidai University at the same place I took a picture the last time I was here. It seriously has been amazing seeing all of these places again, I honestly did not think I would ever return here... but it is both humbling and encouraging to see how God has brought me back here, to beautiful Japan once again. I wonder what He is doing with me =)

This is a cute coffee shop called Poem Coffee. All the strores here are named something cute. Another one of my favorite coffee places is called Precious Coffee Moments. Seriously, does it get better???

I think I have shared with many of you how interesting the toilets are here. In most places you can either go squatty-potty style, or test out one of these, if you find yourself so brave. I have not... haha, but the opportunities contine to present themselves. Perhaps one of these times, I will adjust the pressure and the temperature, play the music and experience the whole pannel of buttons available to me. Until then... here is a picture...

Some TALL bamboo at ICU university, one of the universities we minister to

MITAKA!! This is the view from the little portion of Tokyo I 'lived' at while I was here in Japan amost two years ago. It is so beautiful, and so good to be back.

I honestly love the food here, and I have yet to miss anything American. Yeah, thats a raw egg, and no, I dont really know what the rest of it is... but it was delicious, or oishi, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!

Here is another picture of me at ICU. It has been raining the last week here... and I really love it!!

On Saturday, most of our team took a trip to a different part of Tokyo to see the Imperial Palace (we could not go inside, but here is a view of part of the outside...)

One of my teammates Kimi and I having fun in front of some fountains

A little later that day, we traveled to Asakasa, and four of us found ourselves in a charming traditional Japanese restaurant where you sit on little cushions on the ground. Its quite lovely, for about 10minutes, until your legs fall asleep... hmmmm

We all still enjoyed the experience!! Left to right: Matt, my co-team leader, Me, Kimi and Traci

This is what I ordered... sorry for the bad picture, but it had Shrimp, crab, egg, noodles, either mushroom or some kind of strange fish, and a lot of other random things I had no way to identify. Yum, food and an adventure all at the same time.

After eating we went over to the Asakasa Temple, a famous temple where many people still go to worship today. Here are some people brushing smoke on themselves. They are trying to bless themselves.

Here is a picture of everyone walking up to the temple. It was so sad. When I walked up the steps and into the temple, I broke down in tears, and had to run out of it. I cannot explain to you, and with tears approching me even now I am weighted with the realization of seeing people flood up steps to worship satan. They are so lost, and they don't even know. I don't know if you have ever experienced it, but seeing people worshiping idols, worshiping evil, seeing people so deceived... it completely broke my heart. Please, take a moment, and sob if you must for those who are slaves, who know not the creator for whom they long to worship, who are blinded, who are being led towards death. Victory is Mine, declares the Lord.... but the god of this world is stealing, killing and destroying...

A few of my teammates had similar experiences in the temple... its hard to see people worshiping blindly what they do not know is leading them towards death

Japan is such a dark country spiritually... less than 2% Christian. The harvest is ripe, but the workers are few. How about it.... ever think about serving your Creator in Japan... is pretty stinking awesome here.... =)


Okay... so here are a few more interesting day-to-day things here...

One downer...the fruit here can be rediculously expensive... $40.00 for a cantelope anyone?? Haha!! Seriously...

This is lovely Koenji, the portion of Tokyo my team is living in this summer. If you go through the arch on the right, take a left at the 7-11 and a right at the small market, you will find my apartment building =)

I love it.


Well, thats about all for now. I will be posting more pictures on Facebook. I love love comments, let me know when you are praying for me and this country. Please pray for the staff here... they are working so hard, and are so few. Pray that God would break your heart for this country and move you here. Scared? Yeah...

God may not move you here, which is completely okay, God always knows best.... but keep in mind...He also just might. Be open to the possibility, but also realize the precious value of your prayers from wherever you are serving. We serve a God who does not need you or I to accomplish His will. He has ordained what will happen for every moment of every day. It is our joy and honor to be ambassadors of such a great King. And speaking from somone who was scared to come...

Trust God.

Finding Rest

Hey everyone, I realize it has been a while since my last blog entry... sorry!! It has been quite exciting and busy over here for me and my team!! We have spent the last week going to different campuses, reaching out to students, getting contact information, setting up meetings and trying to share the gospel... whew!! I can honestly say I am being stretched SOOO much... but in a good way. I reach the end of my strength before I even get out of bed in the morning, and by the time I get on the train, an entire day starting conversations and trying to converse with Japanese students seems completely overwhelming, but God is so faithful, and is teaching me something I did not know I did not know: I need to/can find my rest in God.

I know it seems obvious, but so often when I get stressed out, I tend to run away from God, or pin Him as what is stressing me out. When I feel anxious or afraid, I automatically think God is the one giving that to me to test me and grow me, instead of realizing He is allowing it, and is the sole place I can find rest in the midst of it. In church today, the message was on remembering the blessings of God, and trusting in Him. One of the main points that stuck out to me was that, when we forget the blessings of God, we tend to stop trusting Him, and then we become anxious and stressed out, and don't know where to turn. Ugh, that's me, big time. When the Israelites were first brought to the promise land, most of the leaders took one look at the people who inhabited it and freaked out. Because they did not trust God, he led them to walk in the wilderness for 40 years. Their experience of the wilderness could have ended the moment they decided to trust God and conquor the land, but by not trusting God they ended up putting themselves through something deathly hard. I think I often want to do the same thing. When I am faced with something that seems impossible, like, spending 5 weeks in a spiritually desolate country explaining the gospel to students who I have almost NO connection to and who do not even know, for the most part, who Jesus is....I want to run away... there is no way I can do that.

I start thinking... What if I don't have all the answers, what if I can't do it emotionally, what if it gets to hard, what if I have doubts, I still have so many struggles, so many questions...

....the people look so big...

But, God is so faithful. He is my rest. I am finding this to be of the utmost truth, and its hard, satan knows exactly how to get me away from finding my rest in God.... and dang it, he seems to succeed often. The pastor today said, Satan cannot ever take away your salvation, but he can steal your peace, your joy and your hope. I did not really realize that, and pinned it all on myself, thinking I was a bad Christian for not experiencing those things, but no. I am done. I will fight for my joy, my peace and my hope, they are mine in Christ Jesus, my Lord.

I say this now, sitting down after a day of rest, fellowship and encouragement, but the real test will be tomorrow, when I walk on campus. The thought already sends a bit of... fear into my heart. But, I am trusting God, with all I have, and if you think of me, and even as you read this, pray that I would be reminded to find my rest in God as I battle against the evil one for the salvation of souls. Pray that I would find God worthy in my heart, that I would not be distracted by the desires of my flesh to do something easier, and that I would find JOY in my beautiful savior.

I don't know how theologically correct this is, but I have to say, the thing I look forward to the most, is one day, seeing Jesus, and finaly being able to give Him a big hug.

Until that day, he is keeping me faithful, but pray that I would find peace and joy, that I would not allow it to be stolen, that I would remember the blessings of God, and find my rest in Him as he conforms me into the image of his son.

A song that I have been listening to a lot the last few days is called "Waiting for You" by Sevenglory. The lyrics are beautiful:

Come into my arms and I will give you rest
Will you trust me with your whole life?
Will you go into the place that I call you to be
and wait until I supply?

Only there will you find joy
Only there will you find me.

Here I am. I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for the day when you see light
Here I am, you're never alone
Wherever you go, I am here
Trust me with your life.

I will take away the pain you hide and fill it with my love
Will you ever begin to see the reasons why you are here
and take a leap of faith into the arms of me?


He restores my soul- Ps 23

And So It Begins

Today was orientation day. We made our way from Koenji to Mitaka, and met with the staff for the Western portion of the targeted Tokyo area. As some of you know, I was in Tokyo a little over a year and a half ago, and stayed in Mitaka (a little area inside of Tokyo) for about 3 weeks. When I arrived at the train station, and went down the escalator into Mitka, I started to cry... I am not sure why, but something in my heart was stirred as I was filled with excitement and disbelife that after almost two years, I had made it back.

The last time I was in Mitaka, it was in the middle of a crazy around-the-world trip I took after highschool, and I was feeling very overwhelmed and exhausted. I was graciously accepted and loved by the CCC staff here, and left with a warm heart and a desire to someday, if possible, return.

Honestly, I never really expected to return, and the fact that I am in fact back in Tokyo is quite surreal to me. I am just blown away to be back, and the need for workers here is heavy on my heart. Be praying that God would give me guidance and wisdom these next few weeks....

On a lighter note, I got to see some of my dear Japanese friends that had NO idea I was coming and greeted me with such joy and.... ahh... yes, there were tears on my part. They are so dear to me, I just love them all.

Yukiko is particularly close to my heart. While I was here, she was a constant joy to be around, and always uplifted my spirit. She is someone you cannot help but smile around. Here is a picture of us together again...

We were both so so so exited to see eachother!!!


This is Naomi, another beautiful familiar face... !!!

Later today, we also were given an 'amazing race' style challenge by our team leaders, Gen and Heather. We were split into 4 teams of 4, and given a list of tasks to accomplish. The list included taking the correct trains to get to Shibuya (a 'down town part of Tokyo) and finding random shopps, eating certain foods and taking pictures of specific things. It was a total blast... here are some pictures..


(I was here at night a last time I was in Tokyo... this is one of, if not the buisiest pedestrian intersection in the world... its amazing... )

Here is a random picture I took while crossing a street. It is always super busy here!!

Well, tomorrow is our first day on campus. I am a little apprehensive, but confident that God is the ultimate victor of whatever opposition we may face. Japan is a very dark country spiritually, and we are expecting to encounter strong opposition from the enemy... so be praying for us all. God is King though, and there is no greater power than the one to whom we belong. Praise God.

Night!!!

Konnichiwa

Hey everyone, I just wanted to say WE MADE IT TO KOENJI, TOKYO, JAPAN!!!

Our day of traveling from LA to Tokyo went really well, so thank you all who prayed for us. Our flight was on time, and actually arrived a bit early. We all made it through customs with surprising ease, and all of our bags arrived very quickly. We took 3 trains to get to our station, one of which (the one we were on the longest) had seats for everyone, it was delightful!!

So, what would a day of traveling be without a bit of mishap and excitement...haha, and how would Emily ever encounter such a day... well, really only one thing 'exciting' happened to me, and it had to do with an unfortunate water situation on the airplane. After getting through security, I filled my empty (BIG) water bottle for the plane ride, and prepared to stay fully hydrated for the 11ish hour flight. Well, between the sip I took before loading, and getting settled on the plane, I discovered that the lid had not been put on, and ALL the water had spilled all over the floor below my seat, drenching my pillow, sweatshirt, extra clothing and a few other things. Haha!! Thankfully it truly was not a big issue, and everything worked out just fine!

I am THRILLED to be back in Japan, I seriously just LOVE it here!!! Ahh!! My team is so awesome, and I have had the awesome privilage of being selected to be one of 4 campus leaders (?!?!).

Here are some pictures and a video (hopefully it works) for you all!! There will be an album posted on Facebook soon that I will post a link to. Please fill free to leave comments!

Some of the team at meal time during briefing

Almond Fish... dried fish and slivered almonds... yummm. A common snack food in Japan..

The team-building activity that required us to eat the little guys (fish)

READY.SET.GO!!!

Excited on the way to the AIRPORT

WE CANT WAIT!!! One of my new AWESOME friends, Jess

Leaving Briefing

The plane that got us to Japan!!

I'M IN JAPAN!!!!

The group of Campus leaders (minus one, who took the picture)
Left to right: Matt (my parter, an MK who grew up in Papua New Guinea!) Me, Jess, Heather and Gen (our group leaders!) and not pictured, Kylan.
Pray for us!!

Our God

Today was such an encouraging day for me!

This whole week has been amazing, seriously, and not at all what I expected. I came into this week just expecting to endure a bunch of silly 'team building' games, but I have found myself soaking in precious information about cross cultural evangelism and mannerisms and customs of Japan, as well as a genuine taste of intentional community among my teammates. God is so good! I feel so refreshed and back on track, I just love being around people... and, the people here are especially amazing. Singing in a room with teams of people going overseas either that night or the next day is an experience beyond comparison. Knowing we have all taken the step and answered the call, is just beautiful. Being in a room full of ambassadors who are actively moving... ah.

Knowing I have been chosen to be apart of this precious group is such an amazing blessing to my heart. In the weeks before this trip, I experienced so much discouragement through friends leaving, school ending and just.... it seemed like everything was over and my world was crashing down around me. I felt like I did not even want to come on this trip, and was just so down... but GOD IS FAITHFUL. He held my hand as I stumbled about, and taught me truths that cannot be expressed in words.

To Nicole who graciously listened my phone calls filled with tearful frustration and doubt, and encouraged me with truth and challenged me in love... thank you!!!

To Bethy, my dearest and lovely friend and roommate, for all of the pillow talks about truth, life and well... wordless conversations... okay seriously, God has blessed me with you in a way that lets me KNOW he loves me. You are the best friend, i love you and I am praying for you!

To Sarah, who sat with me and ran errands with me when I felt overwhelmed, you kept me going and showed me the mercy of God. I love you!!

There are so many others who have encouraged me throughout this whole semester that it would honestly take me a month to write everything down... so if I did not include you, know that its not becuase you have just skipped my mind or I have forgotten your impact, you know who you are, and you should know that I appreciate you beyond words. The encouragement you have all given me, God has used in such a way as to allow me to now carry His name to a nation that does not know Him yet.

I know this trip will have its ups and downs, and I know that there will be times of hardship coming my way, but right now I am experiencing joy and peace, and I am just STOKED to be going back to Japan TOMORROW!!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY!!!! AHHHHH

Also, for a team of 16 who needed over $19,000... just a few days ago...we now only need around $1,200. God provided an excess of $1,425 for me through all of you that went towards a teammate who needed money to get to Japan. Eternal blessings.

Well, now I have to try and sleep. I will try to update when we get to Japan. Pray for us all, we have an early morning tomorrow, a ride to the airport, looong flight, train tickets to buy, a few trains to catch and apartments to move into before we will have the chance to sleep again. Pray especially for our leaders, Gen and Heather, as they have to endure all of this, and keep track of 15 college students, some of whom have never been overseas before. I am excited and expecting to find more evidence of God's faithfulness.

Sorry this got long. Leave comments please!!!
love to you all
OUR GOD IS FAITHFUL
selah

Update

So, as many of you have been (hopefully not too annoyingly) seeing, I have been asking for more money to help my teammates get to Japan. We started out with a $19,000 deficit, and last I heard, we were below $5,000... which is AMAZING. I know that we are well below that, as so many people have stepped up to the plate and pledged even more money, or for the first time. Just so you know, you have all given around $1,050 that will go towards getting a teammate of mine overseas.

The sacrifices you have made is truly cherished, and I am praying that you gave with joy with an eternal perspective full of trust in God's faithfulness and rejoicing in our unfading hope of what is to come.

The outcome of your selflessness will not only help send someone overseas, but maybe impact their lives and send them in the direction of a vocation of a missionary overseas where they will impact lives that you may one day see in heaven! How sweet!!!

Sorry if I have been annoying... in my excitement to challenge and see God work, I have been eager in my attempts to raise support... but I realize this may have rubbed some of you the wrong way... my apologies. Just wanted to catch everyone where they were at, and make sure that everyone had the opportunity to give!!

We are leaving for Japan TOMORROW MORNING!!! AND I AM SO SO SO PUMPED!!
My team is absolutely awesome, and the girls on the team are especially rad. God is so good!

I will keep updating this blog as we get to Japan and start our ministry there! Pictures soon!

Where there is {Gods} will, there is a way

Hey everyone, I am currently at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa California for a few days of briefing before heading out to JAPAN!!!

I am super excited for what God is going to do this summer, and I do not say that lightly... God really has some amazing things in store... I just know it... which brings me to an urgent need that I have just been made aware of...

TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS... I KNOW ITS LONG... BUT AT LEAST PRAY =) !!!

My tokyo team is still 19,000 dollars short for what we need to go overseas on friday. While each student is responsible for raising their own support, we have been encouraged to ask that,he request and need be made known to our supporters, so that even as we individually reach our own goals, any extra money available could go towards someone who does not have their support raised. If each student does not have their individual amount of 5,100 raised, they are not permitted to go to Japan with the team on Friday. Our Father can work mightily, and I am so excited to see what he is going to do these next few days. I would be delighted if you could pass this on so that others could be involved, not only in giving, but in the rewards that come from coming before God and seeing his work accomplished.

If anyone does wish to give, I need to know asap the amount they are willing to donate, and then please advise them to make a check out to Campus Crusade for Christ with Tokyo A, Emily Niemond in the memo. I am nearly at 100% for my support, but any extra will send another teammate with us to Japan.

The address the checks should be sent to is:
Campus Crusade for Christ
C/O Chrissy Tsai
16 Technology Dr Suite # 205
Irvine, Ca 92618

You can also donate online at: https://give.ccci.org/give
my student desigation # is 5512570

You can contact me through my email or phone 209.261.9980

I am confident that God's will is going to be accomplished, and I am excited to see just what it will be. Please encourage others to join with our team as we join with God as he works out his plan for this summer in our lives.

To all of you who have already graciously offered your financial support, know that you have invested into eternal rewards, and I am so so so appreciative of your sacrifice!!

Tomorrow... Tomorrow... I love ya... tomrrow

So, I am leaving tomorrow for briefing and then on Thursday... I AM OFF TO JAPAN!!

This last week has been very difficult, but man, I am learning so much. I have been praying and asking God that He would be the most real thing to me, and that I would not just be following what all my friends are doing at School... but truly following Him regardless of those around me. Its been tough, but God is revealing some beautiful things to me... packaged differently than I would have originally liked, but they are beautiful none-the-less.

I have a pretty crazy day ahead of me, and I am off at the moment to buy a camera for my trip... fun fun... lol. I love you all, keep me in your prayers please. I will try to keep you all updated!!!

em

Saying Goodbye

This last week has been a hard one for me.

I had to say goodbye to many of my best friends, some for a week, some for a summer, and some for an unknown amount of time. I never really realized how hard saying goodbye was... but as I sit here, feeling a lot of sadness in my heart, and a lot of wetness on my cheeks, I can say with confidence that this truly is so much harder than I thought it would be.

Bethany- I know you are coming home tonight, but your stinking flights keep getting delayed... and I miss you. I need a hug.

I am learning how to be honest with God right now though, and with school done, I can't hide inside of my homework and escape... I have to just deal with everything straight out. It hurts a lot, but God is so faithful... amen.

Please pray that God would continue to work in my heart these next few days before I leave, and that he would be merciful as I find hope through hardships.

I am finding hope and peace in God in beautiful ways right now. =)

Quickly

Sometimes when I don't understand things it makes me feel like a failure. Like, when I don't understand the justice of God... or the love of God, I immediately separate myself from Him with my self-imposed hopelessness.

I just wish I could understand God, and sometimes at Bible college, I feel like its a possibility....we take classes, write papers, have discussions and use big words... but, despite all the things I have going for me, its as if I keep failing somehow, that am unable to attain what mere understanding would grant me.

But... Bible college really can't teach me everything about God...and my failings... well, those are in God's hands too.

I'm just a silly perfectionist that God is humbling.

The Fraility of Life

Yesterday I went to a viewing for a highschool girl who was a co-worker with my roommate Bethany. She was hit by a train earlier this week...

I have never seen a dead person before, and it has stirred a lot of thoughts in my mind... some good, some uncomfortable...

Life is such a strange phenomenon. It is trapped within us for such a short while, and then upon the damage of our bodies, it can suddenly leave. A transient value, untouchable, that somehow remains attached to that which is seen.... for only a little while. A period of time, ordained before its beginning...

What is left behind is a shell, hardly recognizable, and an expression, frozen in the moment life left behind.

It makes me think of Jesus and his followers. When he died, all hope must have left those who had put their trust in him. When you look at a body that is dead, the void of life seems to steal all thoughts of hope and life and love. It just lays there. There is nothing to that person anymore, beyond what is seen... and what defines a person, is often entirely what is not visible to the eye. Those looking at Jesus after his death must have been crushed with thoughts of hopelessness. Here was a man they had placed the hope of their souls in.. and yet, there he lay, absent of the life they had died to follow.

For days, pondery must had wracked at their hearts, begging them to question the very things they had finally found. But, all was not lost... for in a few days, their beloved leader came back to life.

Who has the authority to order life to leave, or demand it's return?
None but God. Indwelt with the Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ declared his power in an event that displayed authority unknown when he returned life into his body, and rose from the dead.

As I looked at that little girl, laying in her casket, makeup covering the doctor's attempts to stitch up her face, I realized that she had no authority over death. As I looked through pictures of her with her friends, I realized she never saw it coming. And as I looked at her parents, I knew they had no hope, for there was nothing they could do. There was nothing anyone could do to capture life and give it back to this beautiful little girl. It was finished, life had left her.

Our God reigns. Our God reigns, forever His kingdom reigns.
Death has been defeated.

That which holds the greatest authority on this earth, that which entered into humanity through Adam, that which is inescapable by even the most powerful human being, death.... has been defeated.

I don't have words yet for the emotion which fills me. But I believe that its something close to... hope.

Wisdom from A Friend

My roommate Lor spilled her thoughts on control in a facebook note... I thought it was awesome, and wanted to share it with you all....

"Move me up through the darkest clouds
Till I've lost in the sun every shadow of doubt
There is no better find than to find myself with you
In a fog you are all I see
I'm inviting you closer with each time I breathe
Surrender has somehow become so beautiful"


We are control freaks. We must be in control of everything. We try to control our sleep patterns, what time to wake up in the morning, what we will eat in the morning, the route to take to work, how to handle tough situations. We try to control our weight, drama influence, what we think, what other people say, what other people think and say, what we feel…the list never ends, literally. We think that we are all-powerful and control everything. Our lives are chaotic and we think we can contain the chaos just enough to be in control. It’s all a lie.

We must not let anything slip through our seemingly vice-like grasp. The sad reality of it all is that we are weak and can’t even hold our own heads up, let alone take hold of our lives in any secure way.

We fool ourselves into thinking that can control our lives; that we are sovereign over our actions and we can mold others’ actions. It is a sad lie we tell ourselves every morning when we wake up and feel remorse about when we go to bed every night. We feel that remorse because we know that we can’t do it, but we keep trying to no avail.

Our false control over our lives has crippled us. We are slaves to ourselves; we cannot escape our own thoughts and feelings. We cannot let go because we have fooled ourselves for so long that we have a tight hold on life and letting go would be a death-sentence.

We have hope. There is someone who has control no matter what we say or think. He has the answers and the clarity to control, we do not. We are creation and he is creator and how dare we say that we can do it on our own and without him. It is ridiculous to think that I can run my own life without help. It’s a scary thought, running my on life. All that pressure of getting everything right the first time is stressful and just stupid to consider. Everyone is looking for a little help in life. The sad reality is that we usually only want help after we realize that things are not going our way and our lives are out of control. If only we could realize that we could avoid all of that by giving it all up to someone who knows what he is doing in the first place.

I pray for out of control lives; lives that are not in our hands, but God’s. Lives that are not our own, but wholly His.

I pray for dependence on God to wake up in the morning, fall asleep at night, and for everything I encounter throughout the day.

-Lauren Markling

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I am working on a paper right now for my 2 Corinthians class. The paper is going to be focused on 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 which talks about comfort in the midst of suffering. While there is so much I have to say on the subject [as I am studying to write a paper on it...] the sweet and pure beauty of the comfort is something I just want to quickly share.

The comfort we have in the midst of suffering is the faithfulness of God. How sweet it is to look back through time, to read the accounts of God's faithfulness to Abraham, of his faithfulness to the Israelites, of his faithfulness throughout the ages, and know that even today, His faithfulness remains.

How precious the thought that my God is faithful
and how sweet it is to my soul

I will probably post the paper I am writing, and I hope it will be an encouragement to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, please continue to pray for our Indian neighbors. My heart aches for Laurenja with a love that makes me weep at times. I cherish her, and it breaks my heart that she does not yet know God. It is strange though, because I feel as though He knows her already.... and, that it is only a matter of time before the veil is lifted and her heart opened to the precious truth of the gospel. Please pray. This is an urgent matter, and I want you to be included in the joy of her salvation.



Also, we just found out she is expecting!!! Our prayer is that her child would be born into a household that worships the true God. Our prayer is also that this child would be a vessel of mercy, chosen to display Christ through his/her life. Pray for the little life God is bringing us.



Our God is faithful!!
Selah

Changing

I feel like this semester has been a season in my life where I have grown in almost un-measurable ways. Having come from a place of inconsistent ideals and feelings, and still falling into them at times, I am finding myself, for the first time in my life, constant and growing, instead of merely fighting to remain in the place I stand.

Among the things that are changing, there is one that has been on the forefront of my mind lately... and while I have to make this quick because I am in the middle of doing homework... I feel as though I should write it down none-the less....

Missions.
I have wanted to be a missionary for as long as I can remember, and throughout my life taken steps to proceed towards that goal. I saw no other legitimate option for my life. Now however, instead of merely desiring and vaguely walking towards missions, I am finding a passionate feeling towards the one kind of missions that has always scared me the most.... tribal missions. Honestly, the thought of giving up all the comforts modern technology offers, living among a remote people group for 20 years, or more, and forfeiting any dreams or other ambitions I might have has not ever appealed to be as anything more than an adventurous idea....

but now as i sit her, and over the last few weeks, the comforts of this world have become uncomfortable... even target, shopping, everything seems pointless, and the outdoors appeals to me more than the mall...

While I have never been one to be completely obsessed with clothing or comfort, I have always held a typical love for it.... but... its all seeming worthless to me now in light of eternity.

I have always been very scared of tribal missions.... but ugh, something weird is changing in me, where I actually want it....

.....?