Wisdom from A Friend

My roommate Lor spilled her thoughts on control in a facebook note... I thought it was awesome, and wanted to share it with you all....

"Move me up through the darkest clouds
Till I've lost in the sun every shadow of doubt
There is no better find than to find myself with you
In a fog you are all I see
I'm inviting you closer with each time I breathe
Surrender has somehow become so beautiful"


We are control freaks. We must be in control of everything. We try to control our sleep patterns, what time to wake up in the morning, what we will eat in the morning, the route to take to work, how to handle tough situations. We try to control our weight, drama influence, what we think, what other people say, what other people think and say, what we feel…the list never ends, literally. We think that we are all-powerful and control everything. Our lives are chaotic and we think we can contain the chaos just enough to be in control. It’s all a lie.

We must not let anything slip through our seemingly vice-like grasp. The sad reality of it all is that we are weak and can’t even hold our own heads up, let alone take hold of our lives in any secure way.

We fool ourselves into thinking that can control our lives; that we are sovereign over our actions and we can mold others’ actions. It is a sad lie we tell ourselves every morning when we wake up and feel remorse about when we go to bed every night. We feel that remorse because we know that we can’t do it, but we keep trying to no avail.

Our false control over our lives has crippled us. We are slaves to ourselves; we cannot escape our own thoughts and feelings. We cannot let go because we have fooled ourselves for so long that we have a tight hold on life and letting go would be a death-sentence.

We have hope. There is someone who has control no matter what we say or think. He has the answers and the clarity to control, we do not. We are creation and he is creator and how dare we say that we can do it on our own and without him. It is ridiculous to think that I can run my own life without help. It’s a scary thought, running my on life. All that pressure of getting everything right the first time is stressful and just stupid to consider. Everyone is looking for a little help in life. The sad reality is that we usually only want help after we realize that things are not going our way and our lives are out of control. If only we could realize that we could avoid all of that by giving it all up to someone who knows what he is doing in the first place.

I pray for out of control lives; lives that are not in our hands, but God’s. Lives that are not our own, but wholly His.

I pray for dependence on God to wake up in the morning, fall asleep at night, and for everything I encounter throughout the day.

-Lauren Markling