Sometimes when I don't understand things it makes me feel like a failure. Like, when I don't understand the justice of God... or the love of God, I immediately separate myself from Him with my self-imposed hopelessness.
I just wish I could understand God, and sometimes at Bible college, I feel like its a possibility....we take classes, write papers, have discussions and use big words... but, despite all the things I have going for me, its as if I keep failing somehow, that am unable to attain what mere understanding would grant me.
But... Bible college really can't teach me everything about God...and my failings... well, those are in God's hands too.
I'm just a silly perfectionist that God is humbling.
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The sermon at Church on Sunday really challenged me on this topic. We were talking about the Bible and how we should never lose sight of the enormity of the fact that it is in fact the Word of God. However, he said that he felt most sermons on the topic don't adequately wrap up the topic. The end usually just includes a challenge to read the Bible more. He used the example, however, of his Father who is a Korean who moved to America. He completed a degree at an American university, completely in English, yet he has no American friends and cannot converse in English very well at all - English is purely a thing he learnt from a book. Likewise, we should not treat God and our relationship with Him as something we can simply learn from a book, as with other areas of learning. Bible College is great, but it is no substitute for knowing God intimately and personally and growing in that.
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