Finding Rest

Hey everyone, I realize it has been a while since my last blog entry... sorry!! It has been quite exciting and busy over here for me and my team!! We have spent the last week going to different campuses, reaching out to students, getting contact information, setting up meetings and trying to share the gospel... whew!! I can honestly say I am being stretched SOOO much... but in a good way. I reach the end of my strength before I even get out of bed in the morning, and by the time I get on the train, an entire day starting conversations and trying to converse with Japanese students seems completely overwhelming, but God is so faithful, and is teaching me something I did not know I did not know: I need to/can find my rest in God.

I know it seems obvious, but so often when I get stressed out, I tend to run away from God, or pin Him as what is stressing me out. When I feel anxious or afraid, I automatically think God is the one giving that to me to test me and grow me, instead of realizing He is allowing it, and is the sole place I can find rest in the midst of it. In church today, the message was on remembering the blessings of God, and trusting in Him. One of the main points that stuck out to me was that, when we forget the blessings of God, we tend to stop trusting Him, and then we become anxious and stressed out, and don't know where to turn. Ugh, that's me, big time. When the Israelites were first brought to the promise land, most of the leaders took one look at the people who inhabited it and freaked out. Because they did not trust God, he led them to walk in the wilderness for 40 years. Their experience of the wilderness could have ended the moment they decided to trust God and conquor the land, but by not trusting God they ended up putting themselves through something deathly hard. I think I often want to do the same thing. When I am faced with something that seems impossible, like, spending 5 weeks in a spiritually desolate country explaining the gospel to students who I have almost NO connection to and who do not even know, for the most part, who Jesus is....I want to run away... there is no way I can do that.

I start thinking... What if I don't have all the answers, what if I can't do it emotionally, what if it gets to hard, what if I have doubts, I still have so many struggles, so many questions...

....the people look so big...

But, God is so faithful. He is my rest. I am finding this to be of the utmost truth, and its hard, satan knows exactly how to get me away from finding my rest in God.... and dang it, he seems to succeed often. The pastor today said, Satan cannot ever take away your salvation, but he can steal your peace, your joy and your hope. I did not really realize that, and pinned it all on myself, thinking I was a bad Christian for not experiencing those things, but no. I am done. I will fight for my joy, my peace and my hope, they are mine in Christ Jesus, my Lord.

I say this now, sitting down after a day of rest, fellowship and encouragement, but the real test will be tomorrow, when I walk on campus. The thought already sends a bit of... fear into my heart. But, I am trusting God, with all I have, and if you think of me, and even as you read this, pray that I would be reminded to find my rest in God as I battle against the evil one for the salvation of souls. Pray that I would find God worthy in my heart, that I would not be distracted by the desires of my flesh to do something easier, and that I would find JOY in my beautiful savior.

I don't know how theologically correct this is, but I have to say, the thing I look forward to the most, is one day, seeing Jesus, and finaly being able to give Him a big hug.

Until that day, he is keeping me faithful, but pray that I would find peace and joy, that I would not allow it to be stolen, that I would remember the blessings of God, and find my rest in Him as he conforms me into the image of his son.

A song that I have been listening to a lot the last few days is called "Waiting for You" by Sevenglory. The lyrics are beautiful:

Come into my arms and I will give you rest
Will you trust me with your whole life?
Will you go into the place that I call you to be
and wait until I supply?

Only there will you find joy
Only there will you find me.

Here I am. I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for the day when you see light
Here I am, you're never alone
Wherever you go, I am here
Trust me with your life.

I will take away the pain you hide and fill it with my love
Will you ever begin to see the reasons why you are here
and take a leap of faith into the arms of me?


He restores my soul- Ps 23