Significant Insignificance

I am realizing the significance of my own insignificance.

My mind is currently being overwhelmed by the disaster that is grace, extended towards me, in a manner that is not only completely undeserved, but even more so, in a manner that leads me to ponder why such a thing would ever even exist.

Take my life for example. I was born September 6th, 1989. Why? What admonition or work did my pre-existant life accomplish that I would be granted the opportunity of existance?

Nothing.

I am because He made.

Now, as a life, I daily pursue different ambitions, experience emotions, thoughts, convey ideas and partake in activities. I live, every day. What have I done to accomplish this?

Nothing.

I live because He makes.

Now, having established that my very existence and life has no connection to my works, let me then continue on this train of logic into the realm of salvation.

Having done nothing to be born, doing nothing to live, how is it that I could imagine that works, of a body and mind I did not form, could somehow be mine to claim and thus earn salvation? Salvation that is by definition, a completely independent rescue of my strength from my own tragedy of which I could not escape.

What is this tragedy? Sin.

I have entered into a world tainted by sin, receiving in myself upon existence a soul of death, and heart of disobedience, and a deserved wrath from a perfect God. Yet, "For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.

³³Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
³⁴"For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?"
³⁵"Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?"

³⁶For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."

Romans 11:32-36

I honestly don't get it, and yet in that... I think I am finally finding that my lack of understanding, and my realization of my own insignificance, is opening my eyes to the Glory that is my God.

That I would be included into a covenant promise of God, given to a people designated to be a holy nation, royal priesthood and a bride, that I, little, insignificant me, would be bestowed the honor of receiving this....

breaks my prideful heart

His grace is sufficient for even me