Changing

I feel like this semester has been a season in my life where I have grown in almost un-measurable ways. Having come from a place of inconsistent ideals and feelings, and still falling into them at times, I am finding myself, for the first time in my life, constant and growing, instead of merely fighting to remain in the place I stand.

Among the things that are changing, there is one that has been on the forefront of my mind lately... and while I have to make this quick because I am in the middle of doing homework... I feel as though I should write it down none-the less....

Missions.
I have wanted to be a missionary for as long as I can remember, and throughout my life taken steps to proceed towards that goal. I saw no other legitimate option for my life. Now however, instead of merely desiring and vaguely walking towards missions, I am finding a passionate feeling towards the one kind of missions that has always scared me the most.... tribal missions. Honestly, the thought of giving up all the comforts modern technology offers, living among a remote people group for 20 years, or more, and forfeiting any dreams or other ambitions I might have has not ever appealed to be as anything more than an adventurous idea....

but now as i sit her, and over the last few weeks, the comforts of this world have become uncomfortable... even target, shopping, everything seems pointless, and the outdoors appeals to me more than the mall...

While I have never been one to be completely obsessed with clothing or comfort, I have always held a typical love for it.... but... its all seeming worthless to me now in light of eternity.

I have always been very scared of tribal missions.... but ugh, something weird is changing in me, where I actually want it....

.....?